The Short Bus

Oh, it's good to be back. After a seven month hiatus we're back and better than ever before. So, without further delay, welcome to The Short Bus. Each week I'll be bringing you the best and brightest in idiocy. Who is the inaugural passenger you ask? The winner is a very special suicide bomber from Helmand, Afghanistan.

On March 26 a suicide bomber, who we'll call Boom, managed to perfectly detonate himself. Unfortunately, he was a bit quick on the trigger and blew up while saying good-bye to his fellow militants. This blunder resulted in the death of six of his cohorts as well. I guess he just couldn't wait for those seventy-two virgins. Wouldn't it be great if he was some crafty double-agent dumbass looking to rid the world of six other avant-garde bombers? But no, unfortunately, he was just a moron.

Since this is the first voyage of The Short Bus, I'd hate it for Boom to get lonely. So, introducing the next Short Bus resident: the NCAA rules committee. Florida State has (or had) a wide receiver named Corey Surrency. Corey was never a headliner but was a consistent player who had the potential for a break-out year this fall. Corey is 24 years old. Yes, a bit old for a college Senior. Corey played in an indoor football league before he went to college since, growing up in Miami, he didn't have the money. It was here that he garnered so much attention and eventually was picked up by FSU. I don't think the NCAA was his biggest fan. Apparently, many moons ago they installed a rule saying that anyone playing in an organized sport after the age of 21 BEFORE enrolling in college, thus uses one year of their eligibility. Corey played in the indoor league after his 21st birthday and before he went to a junior college in preparation for FSU. Therefore, he's already used up all of his eligibility before his senior year at FSU. Frankly, I don't really care if he can't play for the Seminoles this fall but, this means he will lose his scholarship. Without his scholarship he won't be able to attend FSU this fall at all. Sorry Corey, but the NCAA isn't going to help you out in finishing up your criminal justice studies. Yes, I think the rule is utter bullshit. Not because now he can't play football, but now he can't get a degree. The NCAA should have taken that into account and helped him out. I mean don't they preach about their love of "student athletes?" I guess when you take away the athlete part the NCAA doesn't have much need for students alone. Sorry Corey, no school for you.

Peace & Love